A recent dining experience got me to thinking, do restaurants change their rules of engagement based on the type of patrons they have? For example, if the spot is frequented by black folks so are we more likely to see things like automatic gratuity, dress codes and other rules that impact the dining experience? I am not reaching any conclusions with this post, primarily just sharing my experiences and those of my followers. If anything my hope is that we can start paying attention to varying dining experiences and also be better diners where applicable.
The Dining Experience
So here is what started all of this. On Saturday I brunched at Grace’s on Kirby for the first time. I know. I know. Someone is revoking my Houston Brunch card for not previously visiting. For this visit, it was just my sister and I. Upon arrival, I dropped her off at the door to get our name on the list and headed to park at the nearby garage. As I walked to meet her, my sister called me and said “Erika is this a black owned restaurant?! Because EVERYBODY here is black!” To be clear, this is not a bad thing at all and quite frankly I enjoy seeing people who look like me when I am dining. It just surprised my sister considering that Grace’s is a restaurant owned by the Carabba’s family and also happens to be on Kirby, one of the most exclusive areas in Houston.
At some point in time though, black Houston decided that Grace’s was their spot for good food and drinks. For the most part, it seems that Grace’s has embraced the demographic that keeps their brunch packed every weekend, but with a few adjustments. There were a couple of things that I noticed, that I personally have only seen when a place is black owned and/or frequented by black patrons. It got me wondering if there is a pattern here.
For starters, at Grace’s there is a time limit on tables of an hour and half. Some feel that this is a bit of a slight to their brunch crowd, but considering Houston’s brunch culture, particularly the black brunch culture that likes to dine for hourssss while sipping mimosas, this does not bother me. Restaurants have to turn over tables to make money. Next up though were their mimosas, which came with a sticker price of $11/per glass or $36 for a carafe while using a $5 dollar bottle of champagne. And finally, the thing that got me writing this post… the automatic gratuity. Yes my friends, Grace’s like many other spots in Houston adds an 18% gratuity on all checks at least during their weekend brunch. Considering my table just included two, I thought it was annoying. Plus, 20% is my typical tip, but if you add it automatically you are getting whateverrrr you tacked on to my bill without my permission rather than what I would have typically paid.
Can they even do that?
Let me start with this, the IRS isn’t too big on automatic gratuities either. According to the IRS, automatic gratuities are not tips, but rather a service charge. Some factors the IRS considers are the customers lack of choice and their inability to change the amount. This also impacts the servers and business owners when it comes to taxes because it should be reported as wages, not tips. Check out the IRS website for more information on that. Knowing this legal distinction is part of my annoyance with automatic gratuities! Also, many of my followers have noted when they asked for it to be removed, the waiter typically obliges so there is that.
Is there a difference?
Please do not see this as me picking on Grace’s or even arguing that their policies are racist. I just wanted to unpack some of the patterns I have seen over time. I ranted a bit about my visit to Grace’s and many of my black followers jumped in my inbox sharing similar experiences at other black owned and/or frequented establishments. For many, particularly those in Houston, they felt as though restaurants and bars with majority black patrons seemed to add automatic gratuity under the assumption that black folks won’t tip.
There is a pretty popular stereotype that black people do not tip and it seems to be connected to some instances where automatic gratuity was applied. Even some of my most enlightened, woke friends hearken back to their time as waiters in their early twenties and assure me that it is definitely true of black diners. I for one have never subscribed to this thinking fully because as for me and my people (friends & family), we tip AND WELL. In fact, my aunts have a thing for making us tip everybody and their mama when we are on trips. We overtip if anything!
Whether you believe the stereotype to be actual/factual or not, as a black diner you are likely overcompensating or hyper aware of how things play out based on that stereotype. For me, I’ve often assumed that my bad service was a result of the wait staff’s perception that I would not tip well because of my race. More times than I can count, I have grit my teeth and still scribbled in a 20% tip on my receipt despite service that did not live up to that. I know others who do the same, yet these stereotypes exist and people prefer to make assumptions.
Some of my black followers saw a pattern, but I thought it best to ask my non-black followers about their experiences. Now, this is just my “unscientific polling” of my IG audience and should not be considered gospel. Just varying opinions and experiences to consider. As I write this, over 70 people have responded to my question. While there is not a clear consensus, many noted that pre-pandemic restaurants only added automatic gratuity with large parties of 6 or more and in touristy areas. Again, this is not the experience of my black followers particularly those who frequent bars/clubs in Houston.
The Takeaway
I won’t draw any conclusions about automatic gratuity or when it is used, but I wanted to share what I learned via Instagram. I will say however, I hope this discussion makes all of us be more cognizant of how we are treated while dining and how others who may not look like us are treated. For those who do not identify as black, I hope this discussion also makes you aware of some of the experiences of black diners.
Please be sure to add your thoughts in the comment section.
I’m curious to know if their sister restaurant Carrabba’s adds an automatic gratuity…I want to say they don’t. That makes me pause.
They don’t !
Your blog makes me hope the world reopens soon. I have not experienced Houston Brunch Culture. It sons delicious!
I’m in the Seattle area and a lot of restaurants here before the pandemic were adding an automatic service charge. I see more and more restaurants doing it. Tom Douglas is one. Some percentage goes directly to server but the other is to offset health care and other benefits for all.
Oof I felt this in my gut, “ For me, I’ve often assumed that my bad service was a result of the wait staff’s perception that I would not tip well because of my race. More times than I can count, I have grit my teeth and still scribbled in a 20% tip on my receipt despite service that did not live up to that.”
I live in Charleston which is a big vacation destination and, because of the cruise ship port, gets quite a bit of international travelers. Meaning, we get international travelers who come from countries that pay their servers a living wage and therefore don’t necessarily believe in tipping. That being said, as far as I know, the restaurants that are located closest to the port (and who receive an influx of patrons who are probably less likely to tip) still DON’T have automatic gratuity.
It’s 20% now people! Now you know. ?
Erika, this is a great post. The whole question of automatically added gratuity is so tricky and fraught with counter-intuitive fallout.
The trend started in New York as prohibitive rents and min. wage increases pushed profit-hungry restaurateurs to implement the practice. It actually hurts the servers. In most cases, they are forced to pool their tips and the restaurant owners take a percentage. I don’t want to name names but it was after a really high-profile case in NYC where the servers sued the restaurant group that many restaurant began implementing automatic service charges. The history is more nuanced and there are other elements at play but that’s where it began.
In my experience, most servers would prefer to go back to the old system (the restaurant owners, of course, don’t). And the practice has also had a deep-reaching effect on wine sales. With the old system, servers had more of an incentive to sell higher priced bottles. With the new, they don’t.
I’m really glad to see you discussing this issue openly. Gratuity, whether automatic or not, is so important to the servers’ livelihood. Like you, Tracie and I are generous tippers because we know what those tips mean to the servers (and I’ve been one of those servers myself!). Glad to see this conversation here.
Your content is great as always! Keep the good stuff coming and hoping you and loved ones are all healthy and safe.
Thank you for that extra insight Jeremy! That lawsuit that you speak of may have been why the IRS started looking at the automatic gratuity differently.
I’m sorry, but I work as a server in Galveston. It’s not just blacks that don’t tip, it’s the whites too believe me. There is a nationwide tipping crisis happening. This is why restaurants are so understaffed. They pay us $2/hr, a 30 year old law that allows employers to pay tipped employees peanuts for back breaking work. I’m an excellent server, yet the other night I received a $5 tip on a $156 check. It just sucks. Does anyone know of any restaurants near Galveston that add automatic gratuity?
I typically tip 20% and if the service is bad I pull a Karen and ask to speak with the manager to give feedback. I still leave the full tip but do pass along my experience so that maybe the next person won’t go through it.
I’m with you on the added gratuity, if it’s on there, I don’t add more. Unless the service was superb. And in that case I pull a Karen and ask to speak with the manager so that they know who are their top performers. And I leave an extra tip too.
When I was a server, at a Red Lobster and a Denny’s, we didn’t have automatic gratuity and I was often tipped less by black families. Young black men were the worst! (Especially if they tried to hit on me and I didn’t reciprocate). I think a lot of people don’t know that the server’s minimum wage is way less than standard and they need tips to survive.
Because I’m a former server, I overtip everywhere even when my service is subpar.
I try an always support businesses where in which I feel treated fair and respected. I’m sure that we all know the common courtesy when dining out, it all boils down to the kind of experience you are willing to pay for.
Thank you for the post. As a white person I am cognizant of the obvious prejudices and just plain ignorance of certain people against people who identify as black that the gratuity thing never even entered my thought process. As a white person of privilege I still have much to learn. It must be exhausting to have to deal with all the issues that you must be faced with on a daily basis.
You stated facts and opinions and were never in my privileged opinion picking on any person or stating that the restaurants policies were racist.
I have given servers anything from 18% to 50% because others I was dining with who made way more money that I do left such a measly tip to our excellent server that I felt I needed to compensate for their shortcomings as diners and frankly as human beings.
As a server of 20+ years and mostly in the upper echelon establishments here in Houston, I personally have never seen “color” when it comes to taking care of a guest. It doesn’t matter whether my guests have been brown, black,white or purple, I give the best service to everyone because I want them to come back. I want them to tell their friends and coworkers what an amazing experience I had a hand in providing for them and hopefully when they do return, they’ll ask for me so I can do it all over again. If a guest doesn’t tip accordingly,without the forced imprint, then I look at it as, ” hey,it’s the nature of the business and you can’t win them all”. Maybe the guests didn’t mean to tip so poorly or maybe they just don’t know any better (like what the gentleman from Atlanta was talking about). I don’t know. What I do with it is, I use it as a learning experience and how I could’ve been better and I move on from there while continuing to put my best self out there for my guests no matter what color,race,creed or religion. Auto grats are sometimes necessary for large parties or the dreaded split checks but putting it on every single check on a specified day for whatever amount of people in the party is wrong. Plain and simple! Servers are paid only $2.13 an hour, so tips ARE our lifeline. And these days a lot of owners are making servers pool their tips,of which we don’t see a majority of that money to boot. I totally understand where you’re coming from but please don’t think that ALL servers want added grats and not ALL servers judge guests on their color. What I see, is a human being that’s sitting in front of me that just wants a nice meal, maybe some drinks and a nice experience that, hopefully, will have taken their mind off of any stresses,even if only for an hour or 2 and made them feel like they were the most important person in the room. That’s how anyone’s experience dining out should be. Thank you for your article and I look forward to reading and learning more from you.